Are we in a gay sports bar?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
