He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
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wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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