he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
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Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
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Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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