For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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