Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize
