my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
