so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
