A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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