The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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