Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
