I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
So gin and wine won't be happening again
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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