He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I am available for nakedness
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
