I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
