What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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