I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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