weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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