I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
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Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
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Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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