some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
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