thus making me awesome and them whores
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
