and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not ubering you a puppy
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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