Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
