Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to sanitize my soul.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize