At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Randomize
