What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
