I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
