Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
