I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize