Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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