she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
