he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize