I'm drive I can fine osifer
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
