the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
