all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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