the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
