you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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