How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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