I should be sponsored by Trojan
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
