My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
