my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
