Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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