I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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