i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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