I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
