on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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