Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
