and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
