i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
