I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
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Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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