She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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