my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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