But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
