She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
