Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
