I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
