I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
