Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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