You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
