Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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