you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
