did you get engaged???
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
