I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
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i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
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He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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