Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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