he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
